Elder Days Story Time

Many and Various Ramblings

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fan_tasylov_er wrote in e_d_s_t
Dear Elder days Story Time,

Please help me in explaining what the tooth fairy needs all those teeth for to my child... What does she use them for?

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Toothfairy International Safety & Disposal, GmbH actually monitors its employees quite stringently to ensure that they do not keep the teeth they collect, but instead incinerate them cleanly and safely.

To explain this, I need to explain a little concept called "sympathetic magic." You see, if you have a piece of someone, some hair or nails or teeth or blood, you can work that into a piece of magic as a link to them, and be able to do a number of things you wouldn't normally have the power to do unless you were a god of some sort.

Voodoo dolls are the classic example. You dress up a little poppet like your poor victim and paint it with a bit of their blood or stuff it with their hair. Then you stick it with pins to make them feel excruciating pains. This used to be a serious concern.

But then Toothfairy IS&D came along in 1922, and with founder and witch Alison Zahnfee's patented Sympathetic Immunization Spell, put an end to all that, which is why voodoo dolls are much harder to make work these days.

You see, for a piece of you to be useful for sympathetic magic, it has to link up to a corresponding part. If you have a hank of someone's hair, enough of those hairs have to have the matching ends they were cut from still on the victim's scalp for your spell to get a grip on. The better constructed your spell (and voodoo dolls are pretty sloppy), the fewer you need, but none'll get you zippo.

Same with blood, but it lasts longer: blood is stored in the spleen but continually replenished. If you're in an accident and have a great big transfusion or contract leukemia and need a marrow transplant, old blood won't work.

But you keep your teeth for a really long time, and if you have somebody's baby tooth you can affect them for as long as they still have any baby teeth. Zahnfee's Vaccine works by destroying the teeth in a way that feeds back to their owner with a tiny fraction of the destructive force, giving the body's immune system a non-dangerous point of reference for defending against sympathetic magic that lasts for as long as that body still has baby teeth.

This is generally long enough that by the time all of a child's adult teeth have grown in, his or her immune system has plenty of practice at defending against hostile magic and they're fairly resistant to same for the majority of their adult lives.

So your child gets protection from evil Caribbean magicians, and some pocket change to boot! Really, what else could she want?

Yours in Odontophobia,
Elder Days Story Time

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